Saturday, July 31, 2010
Here I am again with more problems to tell...ha well this summer was really great! Im not going to lie, it was really amazing compared to other summers! But these last two weeks have been hell. (Excuse my language please) As it turns out, my boyfriend of 11 months cheated on me and had been for over a month. That was the hardest blow i had ever gone through... i have never trusted someone as much as i trusted him. You might be thinking "Wow i would hate someone who did that to me" but no not me, I give people way too many chances and i am a very forgiving person. That means i get screwed all the time. I dont hate him. He does confuse me though. We are still together and working things out. I do love him with all my heart. Im sure of it. Although i hate to admit it, i lost my virginity to this guy. I regret it at times but i know deep down i dont. Before i met him, I always thought i would lose my virginity on my wedding night. I fell so in love with him that i decided to stop waiting. I wanted to show him how much i really loved him and dont get me wrong, he DID NOT force me or pressure me to have sex with him! I did it on my own account. Basically, i guess its my fault i got really hurt by the incident...I should have waited. This is just one of those life lessons that you have to learn and deal with. I am so confused about what to do right now, all i know to do is to not trust him so soon again. Besides that, I am afraid of being hurt again but i dont want to leave his side. Hopefully, the answer will come to me but for now, im just lost.